Finding your place
by An Honest Politician
Summary: Summary: Set after DotM. The Autobots find a brand new sparkling. Sam disappears. Could these two events be linked? Who is the Allsparks favoured child? Features Sparkling!Sam. AU. Rating may change later. Pairings: Not yet decided.


**TRANSFORMERS FIC:**

**Summary: Set after DotM. The Autobots find a brand new sparkling. Sam disappears. Could these two events be linked? Who is the Allsparks favoured child? Features Sparkling!Sam. AU.**

**Pairings: Yet to be decided.**

**Warnings: This will be based mostly on the movies since I can't really remember much of the original series. AU. Set after Dark of the Moon, but Megatron and some of the other decepticons are still alive. **For the sake of this plot bunny pretend that Carly never existed...**Some characters may appear OOC, but I will try to keep them IC. Depressed Sam. Um...don't think there's really any others for this chapter.  
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**Disclaimer: If I owned transformers I'd be turning this into a movie...**

**AHP: I really need to kill some plot bunnies. I keep swearing to myself that I'll stop doing this, but I just had to start another fic...I hate those brain nibbling bunnies...enjoy!  
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><p><strong><span>CHAPTER ONE: The Beginning<span>  
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It was a day like any other for Samuel James Witwicky and the Autobots. Sam had finally managed to make it through college without any further incidents involving mass property damage. It was a stretch to say that it had been smooth sailing, but at least the worst he had to endure was bullying and hazing. He had moved to the Autobot base shortly after finishing his studies. He still hadn't quite found his niche, but he knew wherever it was, the Autobots wouldn't be far away.

He was currently occupying his time doing odd jobs around the base, helping out wherever he could. Optimus had offered to make him the Autobot Ambassador, but he felt his friends were trying to create an unnecessary post to accommodate him. He also couldn't just join NEST since he knew deep down that he wasn't a soldier. A fighter? Yes. A survivor? Definitely. A soldier? No way.

In spite of having no fixed position on base, he found his days fairly full with people crowding for his assistance in various matters. Today however, was one of the few days when he had a bit of free time and he wondered which bot he would spend his time with. While pondering this, he realised he could use this time for himself to just relax and have some time away from everyone. He made his way back to his room at the barracks. Once inside he locked the door and flopped into bed attempting to melt into his mattress.

He appreciated all everyone on base had done for him, but he really needed some time to figure out what on earth he was going to do with himself. He wanted so badly to work with the Autobots, but he was beginning to feel like a hindrance. He had started working with Ratchet to learn how to do minor repairs, but since that was coupled with various other activities it was slow going. He was beginning to get despondent as he wondered whether he truly had a place here amongst these magnificent beings. He was very aware that everyone was trying to help him, but he felt very out of place now that he was living permanently on base. Everyone had something important they could do, but he was stuck getting in the way. To make things even worse, everyone was trying too hard to show him he could fit in, which just drove home how little he actually did.

He realised that this was an even worse feeling than when he had first met their off planet visitors. At least then Mikaela had been with him and feeling just as awkward. They had made a mutual decision to break up. They had both realised that though they cared for each other, there was just too much going on with them both as they got caught up in their lives. Her father had finally been released from jail and he had decided that moving away would be a good way for them to start over as a family, and she hadn't had the heart to insist on staying. It had hurt them both for a time that they had to break off something that had felt so right, but they knew there was no way for them to make a permanent long-distance relationship work.

So he had no relationship to ground himself with, his best friends were giant alien robots, and his parents had left on an extended honeymoon now that he wasn't living in the house anymore. He realised his thoughts were going full circle, and that pondering the same things continuously wouldn't resolve anything, but he couldn't seem to focus. His mind seemed to run circles around him as he tried to push away the depression that was nibbling at him. He tried to tell himself that self-pity was the fodder of losers, but he couldn't quite manage. He truly appreciated what everyone was doing for him. Hell...even Lennox and Epps had tried to keep him busy, but that just drove home even further that even the other humans on base fitted in better than him. The point was that he didn't feel like he deserved their consideration. Even though he had managed to help during the past scuffles with the Decepticons, that was mostly luck anyway. If it hadn't been for his great-great-grandfather he never even would have met the Autobots.

He had tried many times to think of something he could do to be of use to his friends, but no matter what he tried there was always someone else already there who could do it better. Sighing deeply he decided that if he was going to mope around he might as well catch up on some sleep. At least that would be more productive than wondering what point there was in his being there...

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><p>Optimus Prime was respected as one of the youngest leaders of their people. It was a title he held with pride and always strove to live up to. He had been very concerned about Sam for some time after the youngster came to live with them on base. He was well aware of the boy's inner conflict, but he had been relieved to watch as the small human seemed to find his place amongst the Autobots, helping with a variety of different situations and tasks as only he could. He had firmly believed that Sam was happy with his place and realised how much he was needed by everyone there. It was therefore with some surprise and disappointment in himself that he realised that he had erred in his judgement.<p>

William Lennox and Bumblebee had entered his office dragging a reluctant Ironhide behind them as they requested a private meeting. He had quickly agreed after seeing the troubled expression on their faces. He turned to face them and waited while they all got settled. He watched them carefully and decided a tactful silence would be his best option to get them to start talking. His patience was duly rewarded. The human Captain was the first to speak.

"We're sorry to bother you, but there was something urgent that we felt should be brought to your attention." Optimus nodded, showing he was still listening. The human glanced at Bumblebee as though begging him to continue the conversation. The smaller bot nodded and seemed to grimace before speaking with his newly repaired vocal processor.

"It's about Sam." Optimus was rather surprised about the topic they introduced, though he didn't let it show.

"What about him? Has he fallen ill?" To Optimus that was the most likely explanation. After all, he couldn't imagine anyone on base giving their favourite human a hard time beyond the normal teasing and ribbing. He saw them all grimace again and frowned. Ironhide chose to interrupt.

"The boy is not _physically _unwell." He thought over the words carefully before responding.

"I see you speak very deliberately. I assume then that he is suffering from a mental disturbance?" He phrased it as a question and kept his tone deliberately light. William seemed to gather his courage as he re-entered the conversation.

"That would be correct, however, the situation is a bit...complicated." The Prime quickly surfed through the internet to find more information about the possible maladies that could affect the human psyche and was horrified at the number of hits his search generated. Seeing his expression, Ironhide had to stifle a snigger. He had suffered through the same experience. Seeing just how many things could go wrong with a human's mind was a disorientating experience for the Autobots. Their own processors were protected with various firewalls and security measures to prevent damage and tampering, and here were these fragile organic creatures who could become traumatised by seeing the wrong thing. It was almost ridiculous to think about.

Ironhide had long since acknowledged that he hadn't really thought much about the differences between their species, but apparently he was the only one. Humans were continuously carrying on about the fact that the giant alien robots were something they considered very cool. It was the few scientific minds that made the differences the most clear though. Cybertronians could survive for millennia while humans on average lived merely 80 to 120 human years. Humans had to rely on their minds to be the dominant species on earth since many other creatures on the planet had stronger physical prowess, while the mechs were built with some of the strongest materials available. The differences could go on and on, but he decided to focus back on topic as Optimus came out of his slightly shocked state.

"I hope you can be slightly more specific when indicating what is disturbing Sam. I'm afraid the number of possibilities is slightly...disorientating." William chuckled slightly.

"Don't worry. It's nothing as serious as most of what you've probably searched, but I'm afraid it is still a problem." All cheer fled from his face as he got to the point.

"Sam is depressed." Optimus shuttered his optics for a moment in surprise.

"Depressed?" 'Bee quickly chipped in.

"Exactly. He feels as though he isn't doing anything. He thinks we're all just trying to make him feel better. He probably even thinks that you tried to create the position of human-Autobot Ambassador to accommodate him!" There was an uncomfortable silence before Optimus suddenly spun around and quickly folded into his alt form. He was suspiciously quiet for a while as the others present started getting even more nervous. The bot's knew why he had done that. He was upset. He couldn't bear to allow others to see its physical representation on his face, so whenever he got upset he would revert to his alt form. It was an ingrained habit from their earliest days on Cybertron. It was also a sign of just how upset he was. They hadn't seen him do this in vorns.

Meanwhile Optimus was scanning through every memory stored in his processor trying to identify that which had informed the others of Sam's less than satisfactory mental state. He had also unfortunately come across depression during his earlier search and some of the eventual outcomes didn't bear thinking about. He compared his memory files to the symptoms of depression and was upset to find some distinctive matches. The further he searched the more upset he became. Why hadn't he seen this himself? Why had it taken others to point out Sam's misery?

Deciding to shove his self-criticism to the side for the moment, he managed to compose himself before reverting back to his robotic form and facing the small group. He hated having to swallow his pride, but Sam was more than a friend or ally. He could never be family to them, the concept to a Cybertronian was beyond human understanding, but he was the closest that any other race could get. They had tried to make him more comfortable around them to help him fit in, but they only ended up pushing him further away. At this point even Agent Simmons was happier at the base than Sam was, and most of the Autobots despised him.

"So what do we do now?" The others appeared to think for a moment before William offered a tentative suggestion.

"Well part of the problem is the fact that we were trying so hard to get him to fit in right? So what if we all back off a bit and give him room to breathe and to find his own place?" They all nodded, but Optimus was concerned.  
>"I would think that Sam would have realised how much everyone has come to rely on his assistance lately. I thought it suited him rather well since no one else can juggle that many tasks at once on this base." The others acknowledged his point, but as the expert on humans, William had to get them to understand.<p>

"That may be so, but it doesn't help if we force him into a role because _we_ feel it's right for him. He has to decide that for himself." Optimus nodded his acknowledgement. Sighing inwardly he wondered how it was that the aftermath of the battles was more difficult to handle than fighting them. With this the others left him to his thoughts, and he couldn't help but feel as though he would start rusting soon if this kept up...

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><p>Sam had finally managed to fall into a somewhat restful doze, but he was startled when he became aware of someone trying to get his attention inside his own head. He felt a presence poke and prod his mind and soft whispering filtered through. It was a voice he felt he should recognise but didn't. The voice was androgynous, neither male nor female, and very persistent. The more he ignored the voice the duller it became, but the more insistent the poking became. Deciding the voice couldn't be ignored, he focussed on it and it became clear with a suddenness that startled him. He had thought it would get clearer gradually. He focussed his attention on the voice. It was saying one thing in many voices now, many different languages intermingling to become one universally understood language as the meaning of what was being said translated itself to him in a soft purring voice.<p>

"Why are you so sad my child?" Sad? Was he sad? All he felt now was calmness and a sense of belonging. He thought back to before he fell asleep. Unhappy...Upset...Sad...Yes, he had been sad. He felt a large warm presence wrap around him, but he couldn't see anything there.

"Yes. I wish to know why you are unhappy." He thought over his emotions in a detached manner, that strangely calming presence still surrounding him.

"I finally found the place I could truly call home, only to find I don't really belong there." The presence curled tighter around him for a moment giving the impression of a hug.

"But my child, you do belong there. Just look how happy they are with having you there. You are as close as family to them." He felt a bit of despair make its way through the calming presence before it was roughly pushed to the side.

"No, I'm not." Silence reigned for a moment.

"You are sad because you cannot be family to them?" He sighed.

"That's almost right but not quite. I'm more than a friend, less than family, but there's not really a place for me with them. I have no special skills and they make the effort to make life easy for me. Why does there have to be effort? Why can't I just slot into my place like everyone else? It's because there isn't place for me. In the end that just causes tension. That's worse than if I was just another human on base. All I'm doing is making everyone unhappy because they spend all their time worrying about whether I'm happy. It's been almost a year and I still can't find it. I don't want them to create a place for me. If I was so close to them that place would already be there. I'm not a soldier. My parents don't understand. I can't just live with the humans who don't know or that do know and don't care. I can't live with the bots since I don't fit with them either. What am I supposed to do now? Where am I supposed to look for my place?" The presence soothed him again.

"So all you wish is to have a place to belong?" He considered the words.

"Yes. I wish to belong as myself. I don't want to change who I am to belong." The presence wrapped around him even tighter, just short of choking him.

"There is a place for you. It was always there waiting for you to make your choice. You just did." Suddenly there was a new sensation as the presence seeping into him, as though it was water flowing straight through his skin. It was odd, but strangely he wasn't alarmed and it wasn't as uncomfortable as one would assume.

"What are you doing?" His voice was still even and calm.

"I am preparing you for your place. You are still yourself. Your own memories will stay with you, but you won't remember them until you reach the age equivalent to what you are now. Your families new and old will be informed who you are as soon as they do a preliminary scan. I don't know where you will begin your new journey, but always stay true to who you are, and you will never go wrong." He felt a momentary pressure on his forehead like a kiss, then another on his upper left arm, and a final one between his shoulder blades on his back. He felt something forming over his skin in those areas. It wasn't painful per say, but it also wasn't a very pleasant feeling. It started in those spots as a tingling feeling which then swept over his whole body. It felt as though his skin was crawling, but also folding itself over ad inward. He realised he only had another moment in which to speak with the presence before it would disappear.

"Who are you?" He received one final 'hug' as the presence left and the only thing that remained was him and the echoing answer.

"I am the mother of Cybertron. They called me the Allspark..." And with that he felt as though he was falling. When he opened eyes he couldn't remember closing he looked around. Scrambling in an ungainly manner to his feet he looked around. There was a grainy substance all around, and it was hot. There were no thoughts running through his mind as he planted his aft in the substance beneath his peds. He remained this way before a moving object scuttled past. Still unsteady he chased after the fascinating creature as it scuttled away. All memories of Samuel James Witwicky were buried, after all, how many years would it take a sparkling to reach its 'teens'?

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><p>If Optimus was any other person he would have been screaming in frustration. Ratchet was gunning for the twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, after their latest pranks, Megatron was still functioning, Ironhide had tripped over a frantic Bumblebee while admiring his cannons and ended up making a new skylight, and Bumblebee was frantic because Sam was missing, and...oh yeah... Sam was missing! To add to all this, Red Alert had informed him of a strange comm. signal which was based smack in the middle of nowhere.<p>

Finally he decided enough was enough. He grabbed the twins as they attempted to make their escape from the hanger and halted Ratchet with a glare. He comm'd Bee to tell him to calm down and shot Ironhide a withering glare which promised future retribution. He allowed Red Alert to relay the information to the rest of the gathered Autobots. He then designated the team who would accompany him. He decided to drag all the troublemakers along. So it was that a convoy consisting of two Lamborghini's, one Camaro, a Peterbilt Truck, a GMC Topkick and an emergency hummer left for the middle of the desert. Optimus deliberately ignored any attempts to comm. him. They drove this way until they finally reached the approximate location of the signal. To their displeasure though, they weren't the only ones tracking it.

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><p><strong>AHP: Be sure to let me know what you think! R&amp;R!<strong>


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